It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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