so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
