i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
