By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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