So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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