I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize