Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
