i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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