I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
