Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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