u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
