You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
