it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
