he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
