I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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