So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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