coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
The dick lei will go down in squad history
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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