How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize