she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Randomize
