trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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