can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
