Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
