Got a toothbrush?
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
