Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
