508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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