You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
It all started with a game of naked twister.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
