love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
