how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize