im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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