i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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