420 ftw
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
