you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
