I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
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