Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
