She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
