well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
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