Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
He had one of those small greek statue penises
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
