Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Dicks are not precious.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
