Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
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