I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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