New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
