I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
