sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Please don't give away my fajitas
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
