I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
