I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
