I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Randomize
