A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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