dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
