Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
