You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
