Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
