I can't breathe out the right side of my face
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize