I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
