please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
