my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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