Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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