So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
