Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
