I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
And my parents said I crawled through the house
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize