The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
