i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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