he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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