help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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