Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Randomize